Building Mental Fortitude

 

WHAT IS BUILDING MENTAL FORTITUDE 

Building Mental Fortitude is defined as having a frame of mind that helps a person’s ability to overcome a traumatic event physically or emotionally. In order to create a survival mindset, you need to start by focusing on your ability to survive. By learning how to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Instead of being held back or defined by something you have been through.

3 COMPONENTS OF A SURVIVAL MINDSET

 

According to psychologist there are 3 components to having a survival mindset.

• AWARENESS

This is the practice of situational awareness. By keeping a close watch on your surroundings, people in your immediate area, learning to watch body language. their behavior and following your instincts.

• PREPARATION

You accomplish this by taking part in a martial art or self defence program. By doing this you are giving yourself the necessary skills, in order to protect yourself from any immediate danger. Also practicing your what if scenarios (see my color code of awareness post) and mentally preparing yourself.

• REHEARSAL

This is where you plan your escape or how to remove yourself from a dangerous situation. Depending on the circumstance you will never react the same way. This can come down to the number of people involved or even environmental factors can all come into play. By combining your knowledge, situational awareness, codes of awareness and self defence. This will give you self-empowerment to pull through to not only protect yourself, but also your family if you need too.

 

STEPS TO BUILDING MENTAL FORTITUDE 

• PHYSICAL FITNESS

In order to build a strong survival mindset, you need to understand that in order for you to protect yourself physically. You need to have a clear mind in order for both the mind and the body to work together. As an example, say you have been attacked or grabbed by someone on the street. Even if you are an experienced martial artist and could physically defend yourself.

If this person has taken you completely off guard (martial artists are not immune to this either), they are bigger and stronger than you. If you gave into that fear and started to think “He is too strong to overpower”,” He is too big or ” I will never to able to defend myself”. Automatically your mind will be overrun with negativity and self-doubt, therefore all your self defence skills are gone in that moment. You need to focus on making yourself feel good not only physically but mentally. So, go for a run, do yoga or learn a self defence class.

 

• SELF COMPASSION/POSITIVE THINKING (BUILDING MENTAL FORTITUDE) 

One of the most important things we need to do and strive for as women. Self-compassion and positive thinking are defined as being warm and understanding towards ourselves. Especially when we are suffering, feeling inadequate and instead of ignoring our pain, we need to stop thinking negative and stop criticising ourselves. There are many circumstances that are out of our control such as assault, abuse, harassment or even bullying.

You need to understand that no matter what you are going through, you are way stronger than you think and sometimes just having a powerful or survival mindset is one of your greatest weapons. What I need you do when you are going through something I want you to say to yourself and know the following.

1. It is not your fault.
2. You are stronger than you think.
3. I can accomplish anything I put my mind too.
4. I can, I will, I must survive.
5. I am worth it.
6. I am beautiful.
7. You cannot fix a person who is abusive, if they are not willing to fix themselves. No matter how much you want too.
8. It is not your job to make someone who is making your life miserable happy, you need to focus on making yourself happy.
9. Keep saying Don’t give up, I won’t give up 

 

• WILLPOWER

Before you start any self defence programs or anything you set out to achieve in life. Ask yourself these very important questions. Why am I doing this? and What be my long-term goal by doing this? By having a set plan or objective to achieve, the greater chance you have to succeed or survive.

If you find yourself in a dangerous situation either physically or going through any type of abuse. There will be times when you doubt yourself, question your own sanity or maybe you have just given up hope. What I want you to do in that moment, think about what it is you are fighting for, who are you willing to fight for (yourself, your children, your family or friends). By focusing on your objective, this will help clear your mind, you will become more focused, will ease your fears. Now you can come up with a plan in order to execute your escape or just simple fulfilling a lifelong dream.

THE FIRST LINE OF SELF DEFENCE

Building Mental Fortitude Is one of the most powerful skill to have. In order to survive or an avoid a threat. We have probably heard the same things. Don’t wear short clothing, don’t go out alone and don’t wear earplugs. Unfortunately as a women who got chased on multiple occasions when I was younger. I never did any of these, but it happened anyway.  But what I did learn about situational awareness is that all attackers seem to follow the same pattern. They all give off pre attack signals, but if you are not paying any attention about your surroundings. You will miss these vital cues.

What  most women are afraid is the stranger approaching them in a dark carpark, but doesn’t feel right. Should you ignore that feeling or look at him directly and  firmly them to stay back. People who come into your personal space, often are testing to see how much you will tolerate the invasion.

 

We don’t have accept any type of aggression or intimidation, use your voice, stand up straight and make eye. There will be times when you need to dig in deep to find your inner strength, but we all have it. Be strong and do everything you can to survive an attack such as eye contact, physically fighting or mentally  if you believe you are in extreme danger. Here is a guide to showing you the necessary skills in order to protect yourself.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

When a stranger invades your personal space, these are small forms of aggression, or small attacks and can escalate. Trust your own instincts and make sure if you tell them to stay back, mean it. Remember if anyone attacks you, they have made that decision to do so.  Will you accept it or fight back. Your attitude starts in your mind, you have decide you are not going to be a victim. Therefore, you will become more aware of how you stand, you automatically scan and become more aware of your surroundings. This helps in Building Mental Fortitude.

So how do you know I know if I am practicing situational awareness. Look around scan the area, are there anything that could potentially hide an attacker.  Attackers count on the element of surprise. They need to catch you off guard and you are at your most vulnerable. If they know you are aware of them and you are paying attention, they may wait for an easier target.  Also please remember that that it is not just men, women can also be dangerous in a group, and it does not matter how they dress. They could be dressed in a suit and could try to charm you to distract you from a potential threat.

HOW TO APPLY BUILDING MENTAL FORTITUDE TECHNIQUES  

 

1. Always scan your surrounding’s looking for any potential threats.
2. Is there a group male/female staring at you, are they blocking your way. Maybe you should change direction.
3. Do you walk with your head down texting like so many people do these days?
4. Are your arms full of packages and is your bag dangling walking to the car.
5. Make sure your keys are out of your bag before you get to the car, so you are not distracted.
6. Be aware if you see a person looking at you and then to another person and back to you. You may be a target.
7. Take advantage of reflective surfaces such as car, public transport or store windows. You might be able to see someone approaching you or be able to get a good look at their description.
8. When using public transport try sitting in the aisle seats, so you do not get block in by a potential attacker.
9. When walking on the street every so often glance behind you to make sure you are not been followed.
10. When passing people on the street make sure you make eye contact and casually glance back after they have passed to make sure they have not stopped.
11. Never ever ignore your gut instinct, it is there to protect you.

There are many tactics that attackers could use faking an injury, asking directions, needing help or as simple as asking the time.  What do you when someone asks you the time.?  Angle your watch and look down to read your watch. Therefore, taking your eyes off the stranger or do you bring the watch up, so you easily read the time and still keep focus on the stranger.

Just remember you can always say no. It is never rude to protect yourself. Think about this, would you rather someone refused to give you directions because it made them uncomfortable or ignore their gut feeling and go with you. Imagine if this was your daughter, sister or even your mother. You would want them to protect themselves, by following their instincts to keep them safe.

 

We cannot stop every attack.  But I truly believe that like any martial art. Awareness needs to be practiced on a daily basis in order to get good at it and this way it becomes a natural instinct. I will also do a post on Color Codes which details the different stages you go through.

 

WHAT ARE THE COLOUR CODES OF AWARENESS ( Building Mental Fortitude)

 

CODE WHITE

 

Is oblivious, asleep, completely unaware. Think of a person you see walking down the street with their head down texting away, who steps off a curb and into traffic. They might be reading, listening to music or reading a book. What all these people have in common is a lack of situational awareness and this makes them an easy target for any would be attacker.

CODE YELLOW

 

Is aware, head up, confident, casually scanning your surroundings. Therefore, you are not on high alert, but you are aware of any potential threats in your immediate area. It does not matter if you are 70 years old, projecting confidence in your walk and attitude can dramatically reduce your risk of an attack. This will give you at least give you some warning that an attack is coming, and you can be prepared.

CODE ORANGE

 

Is when something catches your eye, and you realize that a person or situation is not quite right. You might feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up, have an uneasy feeling in your stomach. Pay attention something is off! It maybe someone who is walking towards you, someone is paying to much attention to you and then glance over to another person, they may be a team targeting you. You may sense someone is following you while you are driving. You are in Code Orange and have noticed a potential threat.

 

CODE RED

 

Is the flight or fight response. Meaning the threat is imminent. You can move from yellow, orange, red very quickly. Therefore, you will be able to recognize situations that have the potential to become dangerous. By doings this you begin to give yourself more time to prepare. The key here is by noticing a threat and taking action you will avoid from been stuck in the final code.

CODE BLACK (Building Mental Fortitude)

 

This is where you freeze. Time seems to stand still, you can’t move, you can’t think, and you can’t respond.  This happens to everyone at some point. But you must recognize it and shake it off to get back to the flight or fight response. Code Black can be scary and may feel like a couple of minutes but it’s only a few seconds. You need to push through in order to protect yourself.

 FINAL THOUGHTS ON  BUILDING MENTAL FORTITUDE 

 

I strongly believe that if we all start becoming more situationally aware. We will obtain the skills to see and stop potential attacks before they occur. By keeping your eyes open, being aware you will look more confident and less of an easy target. We also need to begin training at our daughters from an earlier age this to keep them safe. I started to do this with my sons at about 5 years old, as it is also a good skill for them to know.

I think we also need to practice the what if scenarios such as What will I do if he suddenly starts moving towards me? What will I do if that group of people start moving together? What will I do if I think I am been followed? Even if nothing happens practicing the what ifs helps you begin to think about your response and keeping yourself safe. The more you practice the faster your response and reaction time will become. Which will help get you out of any dangerous situation that you may find yourself in.

Situational awareness is about not making yourself an easy target. A lot like a lion hunting a gazelle, predators are not randomly attacking people. They are looking for signs that you will be an easy target and you are the most vulnerable. For example, you have in earphones, your head is in your phone, and you are not paying any attention to your surroundings. Remember you voice is a powerful tool, so make sure you use it. If an attacker can feel you’re scared that will use this to their advantage and make an attack. How you project confidence is vital in order to deter an attacker.

Increasing your physically fitness is very important in a self defence situation, as you not only have to fight for your life and deal with tiredness, but also an attacker who will not give up until you either overpower or chase them off. We need to stop been so critical of ourselves when we are going through something traumatic. Turn your pain into strength in order to escape and then use your pain and turn it into something so powerful and beautiful.

Just remember never feel like you are alone, you are beautiful, you are strong, and I am going to fight for women like yourselves to help make the world a safer place.  Building Mental Fortitude is your best weapon 

Understanding a predator’s mindset