How Role Models Shape Who We Are
Who was your most influential teacher? Why?
Who didn’t grow up idolising someone? Whether it was a parent, a teacher, or a celebrity, we all have that one figure who’s shaped how we see the world. Role models aren’t just people we admire, they’re like a living cheat code for life. They show us how to handle challenges, set goals, and (hopefully) avoid epic fails. They’re proof that success, kindness, or a sense of purpose is actually within reach. This post is all about unpacking that quiet but undeniable power they carry and why having one or being one can make such a difference. Ready to learn how role models shape who we are? Let’s get into it.

What Exactly Makes Someone a Role Model?
When we think of role models, we often imagine people we admire deeply—those who inspire us with both their actions and their character. But what truly sets a role model apart? It’s not just about being successful or famous; it’s about embodying qualities that others aspire to adopt. Let’s break it down.
The Core Traits of Role Models
Role models stand out because of key traits that naturally draw admiration. These aren’t just lofty ideals; they’re qualities that make us say, “Wow, I want to be like that.” Here are some of the most important ones:
- Empathy: A great role model sees the world through other people’s eyes. Whether it’s a teacher who cares about every student’s struggles or a celebrity advocating for social justice, empathy is magnetic.
- Integrity: Honesty and consistency in actions speak volumes. A role model with integrity doesn’t bend the rules for convenience. They remind us of, well, Captain America—with less spandex but the same rock-solid morals.
- Perseverance: Let’s face it: life can be a mess. But role models show us that obstacles are just stepping stones. From athletes who rise after injuries to entrepreneurs who turn failures into opportunities, their persistence is inspiring. Imagine their mantra being, “Fall seven times, stand up eight.”
- Authenticity: Nobody wants to look up to a walking billboard of perfection. Role models are relatable because they are real. They own their flaws and show us how to thrive despite them. This is why so many people admire figures like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson—he’s honest about his struggles, and look where he is now.
These traits may seem simple, but combined, they create the kind of person others can’t help but look up to. You can dive deeper into these characteristics on Robert Smith’s blog, which highlights the importance of qualities like empathy and active listening.

Photo by Markus Winkler
How Role Models Shape Personal Values
Have you ever noticed how being around someone you admire makes you want to do better? That’s the magic of role models—they subtly nudge us toward becoming better versions of ourselves. Here’s how it works:
- Visibility of Values: When role models demonstrate admirable values, we can see those behaviours in action. If you’ve ever been inspired by someone’s kindness, it probably motivated you to be more generous too. Remember seeing someone give up their seat on the subway? It’s everyday kindness like that which sticks with us.
- Behavioural Influence: The way a role model acts often shapes how we behave. If they treat others with respect, it becomes second nature to mirror that. For instance, a manager who leads with honesty and patience isn’t just managing a team—they’re showing people how to build trust and teamwork.
- Shaping Long-Term Goals: Good role models don’t just influence immediate behaviour. They also make us reconsider our bigger picture. Whether it’s aiming for a career goal, adopting ethical practices, or focusing on work-life balance, they plant seeds for lifelong change.
Studies have even shown that seeing positive values in action can motivate us to act similarly. For more insights on how role models influence our values, check out this Medium article.
Role models stick with us because their actions speak louder than their words. They lead by example and, in turn, inspire us to do the same in our everyday lives. Whether it’s a public figure, a close friend, or a family member, the values we see in them often become the very values we wish to embody ourselves.
The Science Behind Role Models
Our fascination with role models isn’t just sentimental; it’s human nature backed by research. They shape our confidence and inspire communities to grow stronger together. Let’s dive into how they accomplish this.
Role Models and Confidence Building
It’s easy to underestimate the power of simply seeing someone achieve what we aim for ourselves. Role models are like walking proof that “it’s possible,” which can genuinely boost self-belief. Turns out, there’s science behind this concept.
When we observe people who mirror our goals or circumstances, something clicks in our brain. Several studies suggest that role models can enhance confidence by showing us what’s achievable. For instance, female role models in leadership have been crucial for nurturing confidence among young women, particularly in male-dominated fields. According to an article titled “If I can see it, I can be it”, exposure to relatable role models helps young individuals conceptualise their own success, especially in spaces where representation is often scarce.
But this isn’t just about gender or specific demographics. A study on youth development found that the presence of positive role models aids in building confidence across the board, from academics to sports. They spread the belief that achievements, even the big ones, don’t require superpowers—they just need determination and effort (read more about this here).
Here’s the key takeaway: role models aren’t just there to inspire—they actively impact self-worth. They’re like the friend who looks you in the eyes and says, “You’ve got this,” except louder because their actions do all the talking.
The Ripple Effect of Role Models in Communities

Photo by Luke Webb
Ever notice how acts of kindness tend to spread like wildfire? That’s the ripple effect in action, and role models are its spark. Someone positively influenced by a role model often goes on to influence others, creating an inspiring chain reaction.
When individuals emulate role models and achieve their goals, they don’t just stop there; they pay it forward. A 2022 study highlighted how people mentored by positive figures have a higher likelihood of mentoring others themselves. It explains why communities with strong role models have healthier collaborations and a contagious “we can do it” vibe. Check out further details in “The Importance of Role Models” for more on this topic.
This domino effect isn’t exclusive to emotional impact either. Communities often see practical benefits, from improved educational outcomes to lower rates of risky behavior, when strong role models are prevalent. For instance, the article “The Impact of Role Models, Mentors, and Heroes” discusses how positive figures can shield youth from engaging in harmful activities, proving that the influence of role models goes beyond personal development.
Think of it like dropping a pebble in a lake. A single positive influence creates waves that reach far beyond the initial splash. It’s a compelling reminder that individual growth, when shared, strengthens everyone collectively.
Finding the Right Role Models
Not all role models are created equal. The people we choose to admire can either elevate us or subtly steer us off course. Choosing the right role model is like selecting a GPS for life—you want it reliable, supportive, and heading to the right destination. Let’s explore some avenues to discover role models who truly add value to your journey.
Close to Home: Family and Friends as Role Models
Picture this: your mum teaching you how to sew, or your best friend showing you how to bounce back after a rough day. These are the moments that shape us, and they come from the people we know best. Family and friends often make better role models than famous strangers because they’re right there in the thick of it with you. They know you—not the highlight-reel you, but the messy, real you.
Unlike celebrities, who often feel like untouchable figures on a distant pedestal, family and close friends provide examples that are relatable and actionable. Their advice stems from personal experience rather than a carefully curated public image. For instance, watching your mom save money to build a dream home might inspire you more than hearing about a billionaire’s latest yacht purchase.
Plus, they’re not just role models—they’re cheerleaders. The best part is, they’re upfront about their flaws. Did Uncle Joe burn dinner while attempting his first BBQ? Yes. Did that stop him from becoming a local grill-master? Nope. Flaws make them human and approachable—qualities we don’t always get from shiny, staged representations in the media.
Want to read more about how family and friends can positively impact your life? Check out this insightful piece.

Public Figures: Inspiration from Afar
Sure, public figures play a role too. There’s nothing wrong with drawing inspiration from someone who broke barriers or achieved something incredible. Whether it’s Michelle Obama’s resilience or Roger Federer’s grace under pressure, there’s a lot to learn from afar.
However, here’s the kicker: be mindful of who you choose to emulate. Public personas don’t always line up with reality. They’re a mix of talent, strategy, and (let’s be honest) good PR. Yes, it’s fine to admire a celebrity’s work ethic or philanthropic efforts, but don’t forget they’re human too, with the capability for mistakes.
For example, someone like Oprah can teach you about turning adversity into success because she’s shared her journey openly. But if all you see from your favorite vlogger is flashy cars and perfect vacations, it might not be the best template for realistic goals.
Keep this in mind—public figures can only guide us when we approach their influence with a healthy dose of critical thinking. If you’re curious about how celebrities can sometimes make effective role models, there’s an interesting breakdown here.
The Danger of Idolising the Wrong People
Let’s face it, not all role models deserve the pedestal they’re put on. Choosing the wrong person to admire can drag you into a pattern of bad decisions and skewed perspectives. We’ve all heard the stories—people idolise stars who glamorise partying nonstop or influencers who seem to preach excess over authenticity. But doing so might anchor you to values that derail personal growth.
Think of examples like reality stars who promote materialism or social media personalities who glorify reckless behaviour. If you’re taking all your cues from someone like this, it’s worth pausing to reflect. Toxic role models can feed insecurities or set unattainable standards, leading to frustration or unhealthy habits.
A few red flags to look out for:
- Inconsistency: They say one thing, then do the exact opposite.
- Lack of Accountability: They never own up to mistakes or model humility.
- Negative Influence: If their example leads you to harmful choices like dishonesty or self-sabotage, it’s time to move on.
So how do you recalibrate if you’re headed down this road? First, take stock of their influence by journaling or talking it out with someone you trust. Next, consider swapping them out for role models who embody the values you want in your life. A better choice could involve someone whose actions consistently contribute to positive change.
For examples of how toxic role models can harm and tips to identify them, check out this read.
When you start looking at role models through the lens of authenticity, their true nature becomes a lot easier to see. Remember, the goal is not perfection—it’s alignment with the person you want to be.
Becoming a Role Model: Yes, You!
Stepping into the role of a role model can feel like an enormous responsibility, but here’s the kicker—it doesn’t require superhero powers. You don’t need to have everything figured out, or a cape hanging in your closet. All it takes is showing up as your genuine self and living with intention. Let’s break it down step by step.
Walking the Talk: Leading by Example
Being a role model isn’t about perfection; it’s about authenticity. People look up to those who act with integrity and stay true to their values—no matter how big or small those actions might seem. So how do you walk the talk and stay consistent in your words and actions? Here are some practical tips:
- Define Your Core Values: Know what truly matters to you. Whether it’s kindness, honesty, or hard work, make decisions that align with those principles. Think of values as your personal GPS—it’ll keep you from veering off course.
- Be Mindful of Small Choices: Don’t underestimate how much impact small moments can have. Something as simple as holding the door open or saying “thank you” consistently speaks volumes.
- Stay Accountable: When you mess up—and we all do—it’s not about avoiding blame; it’s about owning it. Accountability builds trust and shows that you’re human, but also willing to grow.
- Be Consistent—Even When It’s Hard: Consistency isn’t always easy, especially when life throws curveballs. Start small. If you aim to be kind, commit to one kind act daily. Over time, it becomes second nature. Here’s an excellent resource on staying consistent with your actions: 7 Practical Tips to Be Insanely Consistent.
Consistency builds your credibility. When others see that you “practice what you preach,” your influence grows naturally. Remember, it’s your daily actions, not the occasional grand gesture, that leave a lasting impression.
The Reward of Being a Role Model
Here’s the fun part: being a role model doesn’t just help others—it helps you grow too. Inspiring someone is one of the most fulfilling things you can ever do because it’s a two-way street. As you guide others, you’re also sculpting your own character. What’s that old saying? “The teacher learns twice.”
Let’s explore the perks of stepping up as a role model:
- Accountability Pushes You to Evolve: Knowing that people are watching encourages you to stay on your A-game. This doesn’t mean you need to be perfect; it just means you’re motivated to keep growing. Growth = progress.
- You Build Solid Relationships: When others see you as trustworthy and dependable, it’s like placing the groundwork for deeper connections. Authenticity is magnetic—it draws people closer in a sincere, lasting way.
- It Boosts Self-Worth: There’s a special kind of confidence that comes from helping others. When you know you’re making a difference, it creates a positive feedback loop. Think of it as morale fuel for your journey.
- You Inspire Innovation: Sometimes, your biggest inspiration sparks from seeing the light in someone else’s eyes. Ever found new ideas or energy because someone was excited about something you said? Yep, that’s the ripple effect.
Did you know there are studies showing how being a role model leads to personal growth? It’s a win-win dynamic discussed in detail by Why Are Role Models Important & How to Be a Good One, showing how this can improve emotional resilience and goal-setting.
In the end, being a role model is like planting seeds. While you might not always see the fruits of your efforts immediately, trust that you’re leaving behind a legacy of growth, both for yourself and others. So, yes—you can absolutely be a role model. All it takes is showing up, being real, and letting your actions speak louder than words. Who’s ready to step up?
Conclusion

Role models are like secret ingredients in the recipe of life—they don’t just flavour our choices, they nourish our potential. They keep us grounded when life gets chaotic and show us what’s possible, one example at a time. Whether it’s a parent teaching you resilience, a teacher encouraging ethical decisions, or a public figure breaking barriers, their influence shapes who we are and who we aspire to become.
That’s the kicker: You can be this for someone else, too. By living authentically and standing for values you hold dear, you become a living example of inspiration. Want to make a real difference? It starts by embodying the same powerful qualities you admire in others.
So, here’s your move—think about who inspires you and why. Then decide what kind of legacy you want to leave behind. Ready to step into that role? Someone out there is probably looking up to you already. Be the reason they believe they can succeed.