Safe Guarding Your Daughters
THE IMPORTANCE OF KEEPING YOUR DAUGHTERS SAFE
Safe guarding your daughters comes across every parent’s mind as they start to venture out into the real world. As parents we will be always have a natural instinct to protect our kids from danger. But at the same time, we know that they need to become independent and live their own lives. By starting discussions with your daughters at an early age like situational awareness, body boundaries and starting a self-defence program.
Statistics showed 1 in 9 girls experience sexual abuse or assault after the age of 15. To many young women from high school into higher education are experiencing either verbal, physical or sexual assault from intimate partners or fellow students.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
This is a worldwide issue and more needs to be done to educate the younger generations about how to protect themselves. But I also feel as parents we need to start having this conversation with our sons about respecting women and appropriate behavior. As this is the most vital part of helping to stop violence against women. By educating them on the impacts of their actions and their responsibility as males.
I have practiced this with both of my boys when they entered into their teenage years. I found that neither of them was embarrassed to have this conversation, even felt comfortable to ask questions. One of them asked “Why is it that men can’t hit women, but women can hit men”. I had to explain that is not appropriate behavior from either side.
TIPS TO TEACH YOUR DAUGHTERS
- Come up with a password or code system with your daughter, so if they text you this code it shows they are in danger and need a ride. Teenagers need to feel their safety it’s priority, rather than they are going to get in trouble. If you judge a teenager, they will not trust you and not reach out to you in the future when they really need you. Your daughters can also use the same system with their friends.
- If they are driving explain to them to have their keys in their hands before they get to the car. This way they can be situational aware, also once they have entered the car to lock the doors immediately. This a great way of safe guarding your daughters.
- Teach them to implement a buddy system if they are going out with a group of friends, so they can look out for each other. If they go out as a group of 3 then they leave as a group of 3.
- Also going to the bathroom in a pair is safer than wandering off by yourself in a club. Not only could they get attacked but they can be separated from their group.
- If they intend to come home after dark and will be home alone, to make sure they leave a light on the outside, so they see any potential threats and also the inside, so it looks like someone else is home.
- Have a discussion with your daughter about drink spiking and to advise them to guard their drink. This includes water or soft drink, never accept a drink from anyone, get your own, never leave your drink unattended. Spiking can not only happen by strangers but also someone they know.
SAFE GUARDING YOUR DAUGHTERS – BASIC LESSONS IN SAFETY
- When they enter a new venue to take note of where the exits are in case you need to make a quick escape from a potential threat. Also, in their neighbourhood make sure they know different routes they can take home in case followed.
- Have a conversation with your teenagers about sexting and explain the impacts this can on have on their future. This information is on the internet for life and can be used to manipulate them.
- Discuss alcohol/ drugs and how it will affect the ability to make responsible decisions, could be taken advantage of, harder to protect themselves or give consent.
- Constantly have open discussions about body boundaries, consent, online dangers, bullying.
- Make sure they advise someone know where they will be and time arriving and departing.
- Carry extra cash in case they need to catch a cab.
- Mobile charged and have a power bank just in case.
- If starting university, to get aware of layout and what security measures are in place e.g., dorms or around campus.
PROTECT YOUR DAUGHTERS SELF ESTEEM
Self-esteem is created when an individual feels self-worth. Young girls and women are often judged by society, making them think that the only thing that makes a Women beautiful or loved is by how she looks. This is why it all the more imperative us parents find ways to protect our daughter’s self-esteem and encourage them to love themselves. We absolutely must teach our daughters the intricate art of confidence. It’s one of our most important parental responsibilities.
MIRROR POSITIVE BODY IMAGE
Young girls around the world are basically told and shown by magazines, models and celebrities that you are not beautiful unless you are perfect. Women are brutal when it comes to their own appearance. After having 2 kids it is so easy to look in the mirror and scrutinised my body. My body is not the same as when I was young, my thighs are adorned in stretch marks, and my boobs look like they’ve breastfed two kids because, you know, they have.
We are completely bombarded with information if people telling we need to be a certain size, tummy tucks, boob jobs, face lifts and the list goes on and on. We should never criticise ourselves in from our kids. In fact, we should hold ourselves in highest regard to show our daughters what confidence looks like. You see confidence and self defence go hand in hand.
TEACH HER TO EXPRESS YOURSELF
We need to educate our children that her voice matters not only in their life. But also to protect herself from any unwanted advances. By providing your daughter with the information and then encourage her to make her own choices based on the information she has been given. Teach her techniques on how to have a strong powerful voice to express what she is feeling and what she wants. This is vital in order to enforce boundaries if someone is acting inappropriately and letting her to get to safety in a dangerous situation.
HOW TO BE RESILIENT
Let her know if something is difficult and she struggles, that it is okay. We all want to protect our children from harm and hardships. But if we create a utopia for our children, they may not be able to handle adversity in the long-run. So, if we let our daughters fail and teach them to try again, we will be gifting them the ability of handling difficult situations. Few things make one feel more powerful and confident than learning from a failure and then persevering beyond one’s preconceived abilities. This is a perfect way in safeguarding your daughters.
FINAL THOUGHTS
As frightening as it is to watch your daughters head out into real world. By giving our daughters as much information as they need to protect themselves and make responsible decisions. Always keep your lines of communication open, because if you don’t listen to them when they are younger with small issues. Then they are not going to feel comfortable to tell you bigger issues when they are older and need help. Safe guarding your daughters is a parents most important job.
We need have discussions with our sons about what behavior is and is not acceptable when it comes to women. This is the most important stage to help stop violence towards women. The education system needs to do more by making stronger policies and have safety measures put in place. We all need to come together to fight this cause, not only by keeping your daughters safe, but also future generations to come.