Self Defence Myths vs Reality

Self Defence myths vs reality is one question we should ask ourselves. Regardless if you are training self defence or a martial art. Both are not without its share of myths and misconceptions.

It is important to always remember that there is nothing that will guarantee that we won’t ever have to face danger, but self-defense gives us necessary tools in order to respond to different scenarios. This also includes mentally and emotional strength.

I strongly believe that by educating and empowering women. So, that we can choose to live limitlessly, instead of living in fear. Understanding how to use your voice and body to protect yourself can change how you walk through the world and open up access to activities, relationships, travel and peace of mind. You are worth fighting for!

In this blog post, we will delve into some common myths surrounding self-defense & martial arts and unravel the truth behind them.

NEVER WEAR YOUR HAIR IN A PONYTAIL

This a common myth you may have heard. That your hairstyle plays a significant factor in a perpetrator selecting his next target. What this means is that men are most likely attack a woman with a hairstyle that can be easily grabbed, such as a ponytail.  As this would give them greater control over their victims movements.

Although this claim is frequently believed. There is actually no reliable evidence to be found that a woman’s hairstyle can affect the likelihood of her being a target. If a predator decides to attack, the length of your hair won’t be an obstacle. In fact, he can grab onto your arms or body as quickly as he can grab your ponytail.

KICK YOUR ATTACKER IN THE GROIN (Self Defence Myths vs Reality)

Every woman or girl has been taught this for generations, but the chances of it working are fairly slim. Here are the reasons why

When you train a groin kick in martial arts this is done against a bag and the target is not moving. Therefore making it appear easy, you need to remember not only is it a small target area. But if you are getting attacked you are now faced with a moving target. But also someone trying to hurt you and  possibly trying to drag you to a second location.

Boys are trained from a young age to protect their crown jewels with everything they have. All they have to do is turn their legs to one side. Or pop their hips backwards an inch and you have missed. If you don’t have a follow-up strategy then it’s likely you could end up in even more trouble.

HOLD YOUR KEYS BETWEEN YOUR FINGERS

First, if you are carrying your keys in this manner, the only way you’ll be able to use them is by throwing a punch. So what do you think those keys are going to do if you do make contact with someone? You got it, those keys are going to splay out, slide back and cut into your hand.  And causing massive amounts of pain and bleeding. You are more likely to seriously injure yourself rather than the perpetrator with your keys between your fingers. That’s why I recommend using the palm heel strike instead. Using open hands reduce the risk of injuring yourself while striking.

SCREAM FOR HELP

While one of the things I love about martial arts is learning the power of yelling a loud kiai. I am not saying it a bad idea. In fact by being able to project  a loud clear voice has actually helped me scare off a would be attacker.  By it is important to remember you won’t have time to wait for someone to come to your rescue. During a potential attack , you have about five seconds to act.

You will find  that safest self-defence technique during a danger encounter is to cause an injury. The most common mistakes we can make are from hesitation. You need to strike hard and act fast. As this will  give you the critical moment that you must use to survive.

LEARNING SELF-DEFENCE  IS A ONE-TIME EFFORT (Self Defence Myths vs Reality)

Some people may think “If I just do a self defence course I will be able to defend myself “ . Like I advised in a previous post that just like a martial artist if you stop training for a period of time. Your skill sets will start to diminish. Self-defence is an ongoing process that requires consistent practice and refinement of skills. So it’s better to refresh your skills as often as possible in order to keep your techniques fresh.

ONLY STRANGERS ARE DANGEROUS

According to research , over 71% of all sexual assaults are committed by people who knew the victim beforehand (acquaintance, current or former partner/spouse, relative). So while being aware and cautious of strangers is important, the most danger in terms of sexual assaults or domestic violence comes from those who we know. Setting clear boundaries is more important than avoiding strangers.

 

JUST DO A STRIKING ART (Self Defence Myths Vs Reality)

It’s true that learning a striking art like boxing, karate, taekwondo or kick boxing, is an excellent form of self defence. Teaching you vital skills as

• Fitness
• Hand-eye coordination
• Overall footwork
• Taking and throwing punches
• Kicks
• Blocks

But looking strictly at women’s self defence, it leaves so much out that your only response is punching or kicking. We need to look at our safety as a whole. By asking yourself does my martial arts or self defence class leave anything out. Or as  I like say practice your what if’s. What if someone comes up behind you (which is more likely than coming up in front of you). What if I get grabbed and thrown to the floor or on a bed. Do I know any escapes or grappling skills to get me out of this situation.

In women’s self-defence, we have to think about learning how to not only use our whole body as a weapon. But also how to keep a clear strong mindset.

AVOID EYE CONTACT IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE

Eye contact is one of the best deterrents to someone who has malicious intent. By showing eye contact you are letting them know you will not be a easy target. Remember it is okay to look at people especially if your intuition has been activated .

This myth comes from a fear that if you look at someone who is making you uncomfortable that they will see it as an invitation for them to engage with you or that your eye contact will escalate the situation. The only time I would suggest this being in the case is if someone is intoxicated.

Perpetrators are often looking for those they consider to be vulnerable, accessible or appear distracted. Looking at someone (never glare or staring for long periods of time ) for just a second or two lets them know that you see them and exudes confidence.

CALL SOMEONE WHEN WALKING HOME IF FEEL UNSAFE

This one unfortunately has become more and more common. Living in such a tech based world. This is highly dangerous as situational awareness and your intuition are two of the most valuable tools you have. By talking on your phone you have just reduced your awareness of your surroundings. Any potential threat should have 100% of your attention, and not your phone.

If someone decides to attack you, remember you need to react immediately and having your hands already occupied. You have taken away several of your self defence tools such as your hand, fingers and elbow on the arm. Every second counts in your goal of survival.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

Think about this. The person on the other end of the line isn’t physically there right now to help. Instead of going to your phone, you can turn, face and address the person who is making you uncomfortable if you cannot get to safety.  By facing them directly, make eye contact and use your verbal skills if you feel comfortable doing so. You could say, “Why are you following me. Stop it.” Or, “Is there something i can help you with?” These simple strategies directly address a potential attacker and deter them from choosing you as a target.

Because now they aren’t going to see you as someone who is scared or not paying attention. Now they are dealing with someone who is aware of them, facing them and have set a clear boundary. Confidence, awareness, and strong body language are all marvellous deterrents.

MARTIAL ARTS AND SELF -DEFENCE ARE THE SAME THING

Martial arts has changed a lot over the years breaking away from traditional and becoming more focused on sport style fighting. This is not a critique of the various martial art forms but simply a reality that is sometimes forgotten. Martial arts is a controlled fight in all areas such as limitations, techniques, environments, safety and number of attacker’s. Not to mention you don’t have to worry about the law, if you take it too far.

No form of training or self defence course is 100% realistic, as within real self defence scenarios you would not know who your opponent is, nor can you control how, when or where you will be attacked, nor what their intent will be.  No matter what “art” you train in, make sure that you fully understand its purpose. For more details on the comparison read my post Martial Arts Vs Self Defence

WOMEN SHOULD BE TRAINED DIFFERENTLY TO MEN (Self Defence Myths vs Reality)

 

The problem here is the misconception that however a woman can be attacked, so can guys.  Guys are also suffering from things like domestic violence, sexual abuse and emotionally abusive relationships. But most people fail to recognise this. Even the most trained martial artists need to look at defence from the perspective of realistic scenarios. Wouldn’t it make sense to train with an opponent that is varied in weight, strength and gender? One that is as close to a realistic encounter as possible?

I have love training against guys testing out my techniques on targets who are smaller/taller/bigger than the me. Learning to how to understand their mindset, how they move and feeling their strengths. By learning how to adapt your skills in these scenarios will help you out in the real world. So, don’t you think If a technique is effective in defeating an attacker who is bigger/stronger/faster wouldn’t it be beneficial for everyone to know it?

ATTACKERS RANDOMLY PICK OUT THEIR NEXT VICTIM

A study was done several years ago

• The researcher’s film a street of passerby’s
• Then played it back to a load of inmates. Some were murders, and some were rapists, some were muggers etc
• On average, the inmates spotted their victims in less than 6 seconds

Going back to the point , 92% of violent attacks are conducted by a male that the victim knows

The opportunity presents itself or their temper becomes elevated, seeming as if the attack is spontaneous. It is a scary thought

FINAL THOUGHTS ON SELF DEFENCE MYTHS VS REALITY)

In conclusion, breaking down the myths surrounding self-defense through martial arts is essential for individuals seeking to enhance their personal safety. Martial arts provide a holistic approach to self-defense, emphasizing discipline, respect, and practical techniques. Dispelling misconceptions about age, gender, and time commitment opens the door for a broader audience to benefit from the empowering world of martial arts. Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced practitioner, understanding the truth behind these myths is the first step toward a more confident and secure life.

So, in reality we need as martial artists or self defence practitioners need to stop looking at  self-defence as a women’s issue, but look at it as a world issue. By realising like a comic book it’s all about good guys vs bad guys. We all training for same reasons and we need to put these myths to bed.

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a19936943/self-defense-techniques/