Understanding a predator’s mindset
Understanding a predator’s mindset is an essential tool in self defence . Even though, the world we live in, as a whole is a safe place. Unfortunately, most of us float through life, with the mentality “It will never happen to me”. So therefore, you don’t take your personal security too seriously. Especially during your teenage years. The problem becomes if we ever find ourselves in a dangerous situation. You are unaware of how and why it occurred or how to deal with the situation at hand.
Logically we think the best solution would be to take up a self defence or a martial arts class. In order for us to protect ourselves from any potential physical threat. True this is a great place to start. But in reality, we need to learn how to prevent an attack from occurring in the beginning. Therefore, we need to look at developing the following strategies predict, prevent, identify and avoid. Attacks can be generally broken down in 2 main categories spontaneous and premeditated.
SPONTANEOUS ATTACK
A spontaneous attack occurs when someone becomes aggressive either physically or verbally violent . This will be due to your actions or something verbal said in that particular situation, whether real or a misinterpretation. Say for instance you cut in front of someone is the supermarket queue. took their parking spot or you accidentally spilt your drink on them in a club. It is impossible to predict these situations and it in these types of circumstances it is better to be dealt with through de-escalation and conflict resolution.
PREMEDITATED
A premeditated attack is where an attacker has planned and acted out their assault. Note all predators follow a process in which they follow, cause phases. If we learn the how to identify these queues, then we would have our best chance to predict & move away or disengage. This would give us the necessary time to escape before the attack could occur. Unfortunately, I got followed quite a few times when I was younger by guys in cars. And after a few times I even noticed that they were doing the same kind of tactics. But if I was not paying attention to my surroundings then I would not of notice them going passed me multiple times. Staring at me and giving me a gut instinct of what they were attempting to do. I will go into the phases that they do further long in this post.
POTENTIAL ATTACKERS’ CHARACTERISTICS (UNDERSTANDING A PREDATOR’S MINDSET)
A sexual predator as an example will most likely appear to act like a perfect gentleman and almost seem to be too perfect. They will be good looking and even have a good job. Predators will use what you call a smoke and mirror effect in order to get you to trust them and maybe convince for you to follow them to secondary location. Most likely even though they seem to appear safe, that you will still get a gut instinct that something is wrong. Never ignore that feeling as it is there to save your life. I explained this to my kids as their spider man sense.
Whereas a robber or a car jacker is someone who only looking at taking your possessions and not actually cause you bodily harm. In this particular situation the safest option is to just hand over your keys or purse. In order not to escalate the situation.
OTHER THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR
Some other situations or characteristics it is important to look out for are the following.
- Location – an attacker will be most likely to attack at night e.g. you’re out for a run, walking home, parks or clubs.
- Relationship – attackers could also be someone you know and not just a stranger e.g. partner, friend, work colleagues.
- Motive – What is the attacker after sexual, robbery or a physically fight.
- Opportunity – are you on your own or are you with friends.
- Vulnerability – are you in the right state of mind e.g. are you drunk, on drugs or are you not paying attention to your surroundings.
It has been well documented that women have a higher success rate of been attacked by someone they know and trust, rather than a complete stranger. How scary is that when you think about it?
WHAT ARE THE PHRASES OF SELF PROTECTION
If you have ever watched a news interview after an attack of any kind. You have probably heard things like they were attacked out of nowhere or they felt that they were in danger but did not listen to their intuition. Most of the time before an act of violence or a potential attack takes place. These perpetrators give out pre attack indicators. It all comes down to how we interrupt these signals and are we paying attention enough to see them. There are 5 phrases that everyone should be aware of, in order to give yourself the best chance of survival.
5 PHRASES OF SELF PROTECTION
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NON – CONFLICT PHRASE
This means there are no identifiable threats in your immediate area. You have nothing to react too and are in a relaxed state of mind. As an example, let’s take a look at the relationship between a lion and a gazelle. Think about this way in Africa a gazelle has to be alert that a lion can attack at any moment. Yet a gazelle can quite happily graze 20 meters away from a lion. The reason for this is because overtime the gazelle has learnt to read the lions posture, actions and behavior. So, the gazelle is grazing but still consciously keeping a close watch on the lion in the area. By doing this they can immediately sense when a lion has switched from been in a relaxed state into hunt mode. This is what gives the gazelle the best chances of survival.
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CONFLICT AWARE PHRASE
This is where you have noticed there could be a potentially dangerous situation. You have now become more aware that you may have to react. It could mean that you hear someone is walking behind you in a hurry, a stick cracking or you may hear shouting. Although you cannot yet determine if these possible threats are directed at you. Your senses are heightened, and you are ready to use your self defence training if you need to protect yourself if need be.
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PRE- CONFLICT PHRASE
The difference between the conflict aware and pre-conflict phrase, is not only do you know the threat is real, but you also know that you are the intended target. You can sense that the footsteps behind you are getting closer or the yelling is getting louder. You will enter something called a deliberation phrase and you start to think about all the possible things you could do to get out of the situations in the safest way possible. Understanding a predator’s mindset will save your life.
Now imagine you are walking home at night by yourself either from work or a club. You have a noticed that someone appears to be following you. Your first though will probably be that you are been overly cautious. So, you change your pace slightly by walking a bit faster, but then so do they. You then decide to cross the road to see if they would follow, which they do. Understanding that the threat is real, you start to run through your best solutions in order to escape.
- I can run
- I could turn back and ask them if they are following me in a loud confident voice.
- I could place my keys in my fist in case I need to fight, giving myself a good chance to escape.
- I can call the police.
- I could place an obstacle such as parked car or park bench between me and the potential attacker.
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CONFLICT PHRASE
This type of phrase can go two ways for instance it could be a situation where someone has started to get aggressive because you accidently spilt your drink on them, because someone bumped into you. You could de- escalate this problem by apologizing and offering to buy them another drink. You could be running away from your attacker, because you do not want to get into a physical altercation with them. Or you simply hand over your belongings to a would-be mugger in order to avoid getting stabbed. This is important when understanding a predator’s mindset.
However, sometimes you may end up in a situation. Where you have been thrown to the ground in an attempted sexual assault, in this instance you are going to have to get into a physical fight. I am not saying that women need to have a full-on brawl with her attacker. But just to enough force and technique that you can remove yourself from the situation in order to escape to safety and get help.
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POST CONFLICT PHRASE
The post conflict phrase covers both the immediate stages after the assault. Which may see you hurt or injured as well as emotional or mentally effects. If you unharmed physically and not in a safe environment, you need to remove yourself as fast as you can. If you are injured, you may need to go to hospital or see a therapist in order to heal from this traumatic event.
FINAL THOUGHTS IN UNDERSTANDING A PREDATOR’S MINDSET
Remember these types of predators are clever and making themselves to appear trustworthy and that they would never hurt you. They will try to do this by testing your boundaries to see what behavior they can or cannot get away with. Using tactics such as getting you to change your mind. Start to pressure you into doing something you do not want to do. If you ever feel like someone is trying to do this, know they are testing your boundaries.
Make sure you always stay aware of your surrounding and maybe take up a martial art or self defence class in order to give yourself that extra layer of protection. Even though I am not a phycologist I hope this guide gives you plenty of information and skills you can use to keep yourself or your loved ones safe.
