Understanding the Dangers Online
WHAT IS ONLINE DATING
Understanding the danger online dating is something all women need to understand in order to keep ourselves safe. Balancing your social and work life has become more challenging. Due to a cost increases In everything, people are working longer and meeting potential partners is harder than it used to be.
Meeting online has become a popular way to connect with other people and form relationships. It can happen in dating apps, social media designed for the younger generations, in games or other chat platforms. It can be a way to find that someone special, or even create new friendships.
But there are many risks with connecting online and especially meeting an online friend in person. Therefore, I want to educate you the importance of knowing how to keep yourself as safe as possible.
UNDERSTANDING THE DANGER ONLINE
Like any dating, whether it’s while you’re out or online it can be difficult. Unfortunately we live in a world, where people are judgemental and may be rude about what how you look, your interests or what you are looking for. This type of behaviour can harm your self-esteem.
If you do connect with someone online or socially. You may discover that they don’t care about your feelings or respect you. We should never allow anyone online to make you feel pressured, harassed, bullied or become aggressive.
One of the biggest dangers women face with online dating. Is that not everyone out there is honest about who they are. Some perpetrators out there create fake profiles with the intent to catfish in other words scam you out of money or abuse them physically/emotionally.
Please be careful not to agree to anything if you’re unsure about it. And remember, you should never feel guilty. To stop the conversation or cut off contact with anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Relationships whether it’s new or old is a balance of power between 2 people. This is how you start in understanding the dangers online.
So, if they abuse you or take unfair advantage of you online that’s not right. The perpetrators are to blame for what they have done wrong and its never your fault . It’s a good idea to read this list of red flag’s, so you notice the warning signs and know what to do if it happens to you…
IS THE RELATIONSHIP MOVING TO FAST
If you choose to start online dating. The safest option is to make sure that you’re comfortable with how fast the other person wants to take the relationship to the next level. You have every right to say ‘no’ if you’re feeling pressured. Regardless whether you met them online or in person.
Consent is a vital part of any relationship. This means you give your consent clearly, and you fully understand what you’re agreeing to. You should never feel pressured into a sexual relationship. Also It’s important that you always feel safe with what you share, say and do online – especially in live chats that may be recorded (even without you knowing).
By understanding the dangers online it important to know that sexual predators might send you unwanted nude photos. Also they may pressure you to send one in return. Another thing young women especially need to be aware of. If someone start talking in a sexual way during a live chat very quickly. This can be a sign that they have bad intentions, like sextortion or grooming.
Please be cautious if someone on a dating site wants to connect with you another means such as messaging services that reveals your phone number, or to a social media site that reveals your location and friends. Always keep your social media accounts private and only accept people you know and trust.
POSTING PICTURES WITHOUT CONSENT
If someone you have met online or a ex partner threatens to share an intimate image or video of you without your consent. By law it is called ‘image-based abuse’ or otherwise known as revenge porn.
There are many reasons why someone may do this, such as they wish to hurt you because you don’t want to keep connecting with them online or in person. But for others it may something as simple as they want to boast, or think it’s a joke and not a big deal.
Let’s say you sent your boyfriend an intimate image or video, or agree to them taking one of you. By law that doesn’t mean they’re allowed to share it with anyone else. Also, don’t forget that if you connect with someone online your conversations or videos can be recorded without you knowing. Remember things you share may be seen by people other than the person you sent them to.
SEXUAL EXTORTION ( understanding the dangers online)
Understanding what exactly is sexual extortion. This when someone blackmails you by threatening to share a nude or intimate image or video of you. Unless you give into their demands.
Often these types of predators pretend to be someone they’re not, sending a direct message with a ‘sexy pic’ they claim is of them. Another thing young women need to understand is that a sexual predator may start commenting on how beautiful you are. Giving you loads of attention. Then they ask you to send a naked selfie, or record you getting sexual online.
They might then threaten to share the image or video with your family, friends, school or co-workers if you don’t comply with their demands. Never ever pay a blackmailer or give them more money or intimate content. As they will just keep asking for more. Make sure you immediately stop all contact and report them.
GROOMING
What is grooming? This where someone older tricks someone under 18 into thinking they’re in a close relationship so they can sexually abuse them. First they get you to trust them by giving you lots of attention or pretending to be someone your own age, until you feel safe about sending nudes or getting sexual online.
Later they may tell you they’ll make the images or videos public, or hurt you or someone you care about, unless you send more nudes or get sexual with them again. They may also ask where you live and want to meet in person. This type of predator might be a stranger or someone you know.
CATFISHING/LOVE BOMBING
Love bombing not only happens in relationships with personality disorders. it is also a big warning sign that someone is trying a romance scam. They accomplish this by flattering you, giving you lots of compliments, affection and maybe even presents. Suddenly you feel so good about yourself and enjoy the attention so much that you will do almost anything for them. That can make it easy to control or scam you. Always follow your instincts if you start to feel uncomfortable. By understanding the dangers online is vital in keeping you safe.
The term catfishing is where someone is pretending to be someone they’re not. A smoke in the mirror effect. You will never know who they really are, they might send a fake photo of someone like a sports star, a soldier or a celebrity. I remembered receiving a Facebook friend request from a solider once. I denied the request and never opened it, as it was no one I knew and I had recently read about these types of scams.
They might even tell you they can’t show themselves in a live chat because their camera isn’t working. Usually they don’t have much activity on their social media accounts, and although it may look like they have lots of followers most are fake. They might also play the victim and give you a traumatic story, in order to gain sympathy. Then once you have fallen for it they might ask you for a loan, or to buy gift cards, or to receive money transfers and send them on to someone else.
CYBERSTALKING
So, you may ask what is cyberstalking? This is defined as when someone keeps constant track of you online. In a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, worried or harassed.
They may constantly check in on you online or on your mobile devices. They may contact you by ringing, email or try to get your attention by posting things about you. Even though, you have may it abundantly clear you’re not interested in them. Often, they follow or contact you across multiple apps or sites so you feel you can’t hide from them. They could use your location information to check where you are
SAFETY PRECAUTIONS FOR ONLINE DATING
Regardless of why women go on dating websites, be it they are looking to make new friends or looking for love. I want to educate you in some basic things you can do to help protect your privacy, security and safety until they’re fully trusted.
ONLY PROVIDE LIMITED INFORMATION ( understanding the dangers online)
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TIPS FOR ONLINE DATING APPS
Like most sites you would find that have to give personal details like your full name, home address or phone number. Please make sure these details are private on your public profile and also avoid revealing them to other people on the app or website.
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BE VAGUE
About information about where you live, study, play sport, or work. You might feel better about keeping the conversation light until you know the person a bit better. This could be talking about your favourite music, movie or hobbies.
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PRIVACY SETTINGS
on your public accounts to help you stay in control of who can see information and contact you. If you’re unsure how to do this, take a look at help guides on these social media platforms. For further information.
- If you or someone you know decides to share nudes despite all the risks, it is important to be aware. Do not to include thing’s like face or identifying features like tattoos, birthmarks or unique piercings as this makes it harder for the perpetrators to use against you.
DO NOT MOVE THE CONVERSATION TO SOCIAL MEDIA OR MESSAGING APPS.
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Many apps have a report or support functions
in case you find yourself in trouble, but once you move the conversation to direct messaging you might not have the same access to this support.
- Ask yourself if you feel comfortable, safe and ready to move platforms. You can check The safety guidelines to see the report and support functions on all apps, games, websites and other online platforms.
BE CAUTIOUS ABOUT SHARING YOUR LOCATION
- Some apps let you share your location so other people using them can see where you are or a radius of your distance from them.
- Check your settings, so you can choose whether you want to share your location or not, who to share it with and when to share it.
MEETING SOMEONE FROM ONLINE
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YOUR FEELING EXCITED
it’s important to slow down and stay alert for warning signs if something doesn’t seem right.
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TELL SOMEONE YOU TRUST
this could be a friend, family member or a trusted adult. They can help you work out if it’s a safe idea and what steps you should take to protect yourself if you go ahead. The more people who know where you are meeting and the final details. The safer you are going to be.
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SCREENSHOT THEIR PROFILE IF MEETING IN PERSON
(including the identifying details) and share it with your trusted person. Tell your trusted person exactly where you’re going and when you plan to be back. You could even use your phone to share your live location with your trusted person, so they can keep track of you from somewhere nearby.
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YOUR MOBILE IS FULLY CHARGED
This is vital for personal safety. It is important so you can call or message your trusted person, another contact or the police for help.
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MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE
such as a cafe, shopping centre or park – make sure there are always other people around who you could ask for help if something goes wrong.
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CREATE A OUT TO GIVE YOURSELF A TIME LIMIT
Having an ‘out’ is a reason why you have to leave at that time (for example, say you’re catching up with a friend or have to catch a bus then). Mention the ‘out’ before you meet or at the start of the date, so it’s easy to leave at that time if you want to. If things are going well, you can always shift your ‘out’ and stay longer.
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TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS
if you start to feel uncomfortable or unsafe, just leave. Find somewhere busy to wait if you can’t get away from the area . Situational awareness 101.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON UNDERSTANDING THE DANGERS ONLINE
All women want to feel safe if we are going on a date or just having a girls night out. So learning valuable skills to help keep yourself safe. Should be one of our main concerns. If you ever feel like a situation has gotten out of hand online or in person is getting too hard . Remember it’s important to reach out for help. Talking with a friend, family member or trusted adult can help you decide what to do.
Most platforms allow you to mute, hide or block a person if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. You could also think about reporting them. Here at women aware defence it’s our priority to help keep you safe as many ways as we can. But it just as important to be your own hero.